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Love doesn’t exist at all (Last story)

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Speeding up to his house,my congenial smile was perhaps,because of love.As I saw him,sitting in his verdant lawn,I felt so relaxed seeing him , moving bare foot,on the dew drops laided grass,he was lost in his mobile,“Happy birthday Vansh”, I said with my soul.“Thankyou ” He said with a solemn smile.Before i could proceed,Uma aunty was here,i received a warm welcome by her,She made me sit,by Vansh’s side,I think,it was the best moment of my life.I wished to keep staring him,with incessant gaze,but ended in giving small stares,whenever he met ,his eyes with mine,I pretended to be correcting my specs.Aunty loved me,always calling me a whizz kid,but Vansh ,he seemed to be vexed by me.Opening the box,“Wow Riddhi beta ,this cake is so diversified with colours”,I thought to take vantage,“Yes aunty,yellow is of joy,red is of love…”,I said eyeing at him.He still not realised,my love for him. I always feared, if I will tell him directly,I might end verbalizing. He was not at all interested,in having my cake,but his mom’s orders, I just couldnt stop myself admiring him when he ate the red part.I wished,,the proximity that our houses shared,could also be in our relation.“You may sit aunty ,I will bring coffee”…and I rushed to their kitchen,I wished to jump in happiness,he finally ate something made by me.I was so purblind in his love,trying to feel if I too have puissant features that can ever impress him? If my raiments of his choice? I didnt realise when I dropped crockery piece of his late father’s set.I only remember,that I recieved a push from his sinewy arms,those in which I wished to be lost…. ,he was always querulous about me,but today,I found an occult repulsiveness he felt by me, crying over my inept act,I just,rushed. That day I cried so hard that my specs got turbid.Late evening ,I thought to ,again go over there,and apologize, I didn’t wish to be a wet blanket, but my love was maniacal. As I moved through corridor, I met Aunty on road,she told me that Vansh is at home.I was a bit, scared. Because even after I did,everything I could ,he never gave me any sobriquet, never allowed me to even ,touch any of his thing,while his other confidants used to pummel him in fun.What a serendipity, my love didn’t find me capable of even his friendship ever.Well I knew,my sorry was just trivial for him,still,moved to his house.What I saw was ,He was careening,someone was kissing someone,may be she was Ragini,and as he seceded the kiss,ya it was ,Ragini.I was not even given the chance to snivel or run away,“Hey Riddhima,you here?”,asked his Ragini.I was not in a state to utter anything,I loved him.“Ya …I, just came (my words were breaking because I was breathing hard) I just came to apologize for ..crock..”Vansh: That’s fine forget that.It was the last time I heard his voice.Because after that we never met.I turned instantly,without looking in his eyes,Ragini: Stop Darling. I wished to ask something ,what do you think of love?She asked with a smirk,she knew that I love Vansh. I never told,but everyone except him witted it in my eyes,and creating a quagmire for someone ,was perhaps the favourite game of Ragini.Well,this felt to me as conundrum,I felt Vansh as treacherous, but he was unimpeachable,after all, I never told that I love him ,perhaps that was why he was trying to ratiocinate that why Ragini asked me this.I agree ,he didnt betray,but the fact that I loved him to the core,and Ragini,as far as I know,was just a ,betrayer,yet he chose her nor me.Simpering and looking in his eyes,for the last time,my words are yet reverberating,“Love doesn’t exist at all !!“

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